I am thinking about keeping this in my foyer with Rev. Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" in constant play. An eternal flame for the old Barry.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
the way he was
I am thinking about keeping this in my foyer with Rev. Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" in constant play. An eternal flame for the old Barry.
Friday, December 12, 2008
2008: Months of Lessons Learned
January: A rapid detox from Ethics class can be achieved with immediate lunch with the guys.
February: Sometimes you can feel very small while standing by the ocean, or anywhere in Dubai.
March: If a guy you are interested tells you that he knows all the words to Les Miserables, take it as a red flashing light.
April: A Masters Thesis is an invitation, not a bookend.
May: Never presume you are locked out when a door shuts unexpectedly; but if you drive over the river to get your key, enjoy the sunset on the bridge.
June: Haitians live by the hand of grace, at the mercy of a few individuals and a system with only gleans of redemption and hope.
July: Hoosiers love basketball. And for street signs? Not so much.
August: There’s nothing that can’t be cared for while sitting in an Adirondack chair on the porch.
September: Like life, the cholla cactus may at first appear to be one animal, but it is really another.
October: Even while dressed in Notre Dame gear, it is ok to start cheering for UW half way through the game: loyalty always surfaces.
November: The wealthiest county in the US, Fairfax County, can still be capable of great things - - such as being responsible for the first use of the words “President-Elect Obama!”
December: Unlike intestinal parasites, the gesture of hospitality can make you a victim of the host’s pathology, but in loving friendship all things can be conqured.
Monday, December 8, 2008
thoughts on 30 things, or two
My friend Lynnette and I were born during the same week in 1978. She messed with Texas while I threw off the equilibrium of the Keystone State. Savvier than myself, Lynnette recently made a list of 30 things she intends to do during her 31st year; one commitment is to take a photograph a day. I, a day late and a dollar short, decided to think about 30 things I would like to do during my 31st year.
Number one: I aspire to ask more questions.
As open and extroverted as I tend to be, I could use some improvement in the area of inquisition. Academia is driven by questions, and I thrive in that environment. But when it comes to my personal relationships, I think I tend to tell people how it is or ignore how it is rather than going ahead and asking how it is. Maybe that is a means of protecting myself. So, ok Lynnette, I will show your thirty things with one thing: As a thirty year old woman, I aspire to push myself to ask questions everyday.
Another thing I was thinking about, is the notion of accepting where people are, outside of any relation to me, really and truly. When my Dad turned 50 in 1992 he told me, “I no longer give a shit.” I am pretty sure that with getting older certainly life is getting easier. Of course, more problems seem to appear, and there are certainly moments of utter devastation, but I have to say, life is a lot easier than when I was, like, 22. But, still, betrayal is an animal without definition. And the world is full of peoples' pain.
According to Dr. Bart Ehrman, there are three sorts of premises in Christianity: 1) God is all-powerful; 2) God is a loving God; 3) There is suffering. In friendships and relationships, I think only one of these tenants reigns true: 1) Neither party is all-powerful; 2) Both parties are capable of behaving in unloving ways; 3) And well, yes, suffering plagues us all.
But what if we had a rapprochement, and what if we assumed - - about one another - - that even when unloving acts are committed that there is an intention to be ultimately loving. How would that help to inform responses to our own suffering? Would suffering built upon suffering cease? Would yielding one another a grace of real forgiveness - - even for that which is unconscious and unconfessable or inexcusable- - help with our own happiness? Is that what it means to no longer “give a shit”? Unconditional forgiveness? Is it better to just disappear rather than acknowledging – you’ve gotten too close to me – I’ve told you too much – you’ve hurt me here’s your bag in a punitive manner; here’s a formal email about the weather; here’s me disappearing. See, I have disappeared.
I’d like to think that any option is ok.
After all, people need to take care of themselves.
The world is broken and we must cope in order to live.
But I can’t think that way.
I just think it is much better to stay in the messiness. The only way out is through, and as I travel on my own path of suffering, my inclination is to stay in the mess with others.
But then again, I think my inclination is probably wrong.
Sometimes it’s ok to let people go away.
Sometimes that’s easier. Well, it is always easier.
My 30 years have at least taught me one thing.
Number one: I aspire to ask more questions.
As open and extroverted as I tend to be, I could use some improvement in the area of inquisition. Academia is driven by questions, and I thrive in that environment. But when it comes to my personal relationships, I think I tend to tell people how it is or ignore how it is rather than going ahead and asking how it is. Maybe that is a means of protecting myself. So, ok Lynnette, I will show your thirty things with one thing: As a thirty year old woman, I aspire to push myself to ask questions everyday.
Another thing I was thinking about, is the notion of accepting where people are, outside of any relation to me, really and truly. When my Dad turned 50 in 1992 he told me, “I no longer give a shit.” I am pretty sure that with getting older certainly life is getting easier. Of course, more problems seem to appear, and there are certainly moments of utter devastation, but I have to say, life is a lot easier than when I was, like, 22. But, still, betrayal is an animal without definition. And the world is full of peoples' pain.
According to Dr. Bart Ehrman, there are three sorts of premises in Christianity: 1) God is all-powerful; 2) God is a loving God; 3) There is suffering. In friendships and relationships, I think only one of these tenants reigns true: 1) Neither party is all-powerful; 2) Both parties are capable of behaving in unloving ways; 3) And well, yes, suffering plagues us all.
But what if we had a rapprochement, and what if we assumed - - about one another - - that even when unloving acts are committed that there is an intention to be ultimately loving. How would that help to inform responses to our own suffering? Would suffering built upon suffering cease? Would yielding one another a grace of real forgiveness - - even for that which is unconscious and unconfessable or inexcusable- - help with our own happiness? Is that what it means to no longer “give a shit”? Unconditional forgiveness? Is it better to just disappear rather than acknowledging – you’ve gotten too close to me – I’ve told you too much – you’ve hurt me here’s your bag in a punitive manner; here’s a formal email about the weather; here’s me disappearing. See, I have disappeared.
I’d like to think that any option is ok.
After all, people need to take care of themselves.
The world is broken and we must cope in order to live.
But I can’t think that way.
I just think it is much better to stay in the messiness. The only way out is through, and as I travel on my own path of suffering, my inclination is to stay in the mess with others.
But then again, I think my inclination is probably wrong.
Sometimes it’s ok to let people go away.
Sometimes that’s easier. Well, it is always easier.
My 30 years have at least taught me one thing.
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